Local Counter Culture: Roller Derby in Happy Valley

We have a special guest post today from Lizzie Boredom. Enjoy!  —Dame Toadstool

HVDD getting ready for a home scrimmage - photo credit Ron Horton

Around this time last year two of my nieces (then 20 years old) informed me that they’d joined a local Roller Derby league.   I later found out that at the time the league was still in its infancy.  They were just starting out and it was pretty grass roots.  Somewhere along the way I heard they had dubbed themselves the Happy Valley Derby Darlins (HVDD)!  That name gets +10 Awesomeness in my book, for obvious reasons.  But hold onto your knee socks, girls, it gets better.


Yes, that's a skull encased in pink jello. Booyah!

Last Saturday I attended this season’s first real bout, the St. Patty’s Smack Down at UVU.  Since they were playing against another league they combined the best players from their two home teams (who normally play scrimmages against each other), to make the league’s competitive team, who call themselves…wait for it… the Molly Morbids!

My program from the St. Patty's bout

The St. Patty’s bout really sealed the deal for me in terms of Derby Love.  Never can I remember getting so caught up in the spirit of any sports event.  Ever.  Granted I care less than a little for most organized/team sports.  But roller derby is no “ordinary” team sport, my friends.   It’s beautiful, spontaneous chaos.  It’s raw and emotive.  It’s unpredictable.  It’s pure anarchy on wheels!

Sure there’s a list of rules as long as your Mormon ancestor’s undergarments.  Rules that require a certification process for referees and certainly prove difficult for my all-things-sports-inept mind to comprehend.  But let’s be honest, it’s a misfit sport at best; there ain’t no other that can touch it.   And for those a bit slow to catch on, I’m selling that as a good thing.  A healthy thing even, especially for our overly “organized” and (dare I say?) men dominated, sports saturated culture.  Not that there are no men derby leagues; how could they stay away?

In short, dear readers, I have been bitten by the Derby Bug.  Pricked by Derby Cupid, if you will.  And totally stoked to continue this love affair.

Black Eye Sky with teammates waiting to get their derby on.

My niece, Sky (known in the derby world as Black Eye Sky) who has since become captain of one of the leagues two home teams, Rollin’ Rebellion, was playing as a blocker Saturday with the Molly Morbids.

(Btw, the Morbids creamed their opponents, Nevada East Roller Girls, 183 to 87!)

I had a chance to talk with Black Eye Sky this past week (we’re close ;p) and ask her a few questions regarding Happy Valley Derby Darlins humble beginnings and how YOU can get yourself out to the derby.

LB: When and how did you first get into Roller Derby?

BES: Last January I was working at Joe’s Coffee Shop in Payson. Two of my coworkers invited me to a meeting held in a party room at Classic Skating in Orem. Their were like ten girls there. That was pretty much the beginning of our league. Of those first ten maybe half of us stuck around.

LB: How often do you practice and where?

BES: Three times a week at the old Food4Less building in Spanish Fork.  That’s also where our home scrimmages (domestic disputes) are held.

LB:  How often are said scrimmages?

BES:  We play two a month on Saturdays.  And we do “picnic scrimmages” for fun, which is basically getting together with other leagues during the off season (Sept-Feb) to keep in practice.

So there you have your basic info.  You can find out a bundle more and other derby details at HVDD’s website and their facebook.   Also, check out local derby photographer Ron Horton’s page for a plethora of great derby pics, including incredible action shots.

P.S. Sky and I chatted A LOT more the other day and I began to realize the Derby Hole is much deeper than I had initially imagined.  Which means, of course, that there will be more roller derby drivel to come.  Til then, peace & love (and Roller Derby)!

About Lizzie Boredom

As a proud owner of the ugliest vintage couch in Utah County, Lizzie Boredom has some clout. For some reason, this does not impress her two little daughters. With time, perhaps.
This entry was posted in Awesomesauce and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Local Counter Culture: Roller Derby in Happy Valley

  1. Dame Toadstool says:

    This is so rad! Molly Morbids… oh man. I want to go to a match so bad right now. I also want to join, but I would probably do more damage to myself on roller skates than anyone would inflict on me.

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