What Am I DOING? Rewinding.

I’m actually not working on anything right now. I finished some tablet weaving yesterday, and can’t start the next one until I get some color ink to print a new page of patterns.

So here’s the deal, I’m just going to tell you what I’ve worked on in the last two weeks when I was too irresponsible to post.

A woman I know wanted a bracelet in this pattern. Since it’s a waste of time and yarn to set up the cards to weave just a few inches, I wove a big one and cut the bracelet off it.

And some more tablet weaving. The brown yarn was freakin ridiculous to work with. It’s really slubby, which made it grab onto itself and the other yarn, which made turning the cards difficult. It was also linty, and flaked off bits constantly from the friction of being woven. Also broke a few times. But it makes a pretty cool texture in the end, and it’s linen/silk, so it’s kinda fancy.

Here’s a rug that I crocheted out of  sheets! It’s kinda flat and everything! It used 5 sheets, although some of them had already been cut up a bit.

I finished the sock on the loom, but haven’t started its mate yet.

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Floozy Finds: The Awesomest Sweatshirt EVER

Floozy Finds - The Cotton Floozy reveals Utah County craft cultureRecently it was my birthday. And I got some cool stuff. One of the neatest things I received was this sweatshirt from my sister.

Best Vintage Sweatshirt in the Sweaterverse

Here is a closer look:


Oh, wait. Was that the same pic!? I just wanted to make sure you read it. Really really read it.

There is so much I love about this sweatshirt. It is soft and big and bushy and soft. And it was made without a clue about any dirty connotations by innocent Utah Countians yea verily long ago.


I will store it lovingly next to my favorite threadbare t-shirt.

AFHS STAGE CREW (ignore the dates!)

My high school drama department owned me, apparently.

Is this a good time to mention that I was Thespian President?

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Real Life with Vintage Jodie: February Favorites

Real Life with Vintage Jodie - by Real Pretend Vintage

At the risk of everyone rushing out and buying up all my most favorite things, I am going to share some of  my current favorites with all y’all. (I can say that because I once had a roommate from Texas.) Now all of these things are budget friendly because, sheesh people, I am not rolling in money. (See the Cotton Floozy’s “Bridesmaids” inspired sampler.)

1. The Cotton Floozy’s samplers. I personally own this one. And although I am generally in a good mood, I am NOT a morning person. I keep this sampler in my bathroom and when I get dressed each day it puts me in a good mood, and then I am ready for the day.

samplers by the Cotton Floozy

2. Jergens “Skin Smoothing” lotion. This stuff is great and smells good too. If you live in Utah you need to have a good stash of lotion. It also contains tiny blue beads my kids call, magic beads. As you spread the lotion, the beads dissolve and evidently have healing powers beyond that of regular lotion.

3. My most recent find, the Maybelline Falsies mascara. Now this is for regular people with their natural lashes. It is supposed to make your lashes look like false ones. I don’t know if I achieved that look, but with blond eyelashes like mine, anything is an improvement. This is as close to the current false eyelash fad as I am going to get. Maintenance on those false lashes is pretty intense from what I understand, so those will never work out for me.

4. Lorna Doone. How I love the shortbread cookies. Mmm.

Jergens magic lotion

5. Workout tops from Kohl’s. I picked up this totally amazing top for $12.00. Do you know what a good deal that is?

a lovely purple sports bra top from Kohls

6. I received these at the neighborhood ladies Christmas ornament exchange. I am so in love with them. They are made of a thin wood and have real iron keys on them. I love these and they are going to be part of my regular decor. I have no idea where they came from, but they are mine now!

christmas ornaments made of thin wood and real iron skeleton keys

Enjoy and leave at least one on the shelf for me. Because it is that annoying time of the year when the stores like to do Inventory and no one re-stocks their shelves until March!

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Floozy Finds: “Get Some” Doomsday Preppers

Floozy Finds - The Cotton Floozy reveals Utah County craft culture

I live in Utah County. When the End of the World hits, this place will be fine.

Even I probably will be. First off, because I am surrounded by hardcore survivalists. Secondly, because I can barter my diet coke for bread and guns.

I’m kidding about the guns! I won’t need your guns! Because I got my own. Or rather, Mr. Floozy does.

Me: So uh, we have some guns, right?

Mr. Floozy: Yes.

Me: Please tell me that they are under lock and key.

Mr. Floozy: Duh.

Me: And please tell me that you didn’t buy them from the local “GET SOME” GUNS & AMMO store.

Mr. Floozy: No.

Me: It’s not that the contents of the store bother me so much as the superfluous quotation marks.

Mr. Floozy: “.”

For all your gun shopping needs!

So apparently we are prepared for Doomsday cuz we got guns and we’ll shoot you in the throat if you try and take our vodka or Mr. Floozy’s virtue!

Even my son has a BB gun. Not that he has ever shot anything with it (including his eye!), but still. I bet that he could take out a zombie’s weak wrist or a hostile empty Pepsi can.  And what about me, you ask? I HAVE A GUN TOO. I’m planning on taking my gun, drawing a line of hot glue across my driveway and watch as the zombies/terrorists/rapists get stuck and shot (slowly, soooo slowly) to death by my son’s BB gun. Uh, and my girls can help out by shouting out womanly words of encouragement, like, ‘Watch out! Zombie third from the left just walked right out of the glue trap! His legs are still stuck, but you’re going to need to reglue his torso, Mom.’ (And why do I picture this legless zombie wearing a long-sleeved button-down manly flannel shirt? I do not know!)

Let’s see. I’m sure that there is something else that we will need to prepare us for the Apocalypse. Think. Think. Think.

Oh, that’s right! FOOOOOD.

We have that. In the basement. A year’s supply of dried yuck. I don’t want to talk about it.

But nobody in Utah County is as prepared as Kellene Bishop.

I will singlehandedly save your sorry asses.

I’ve been watching this show, Doomsday Preppers on the National Geographic channel and I am hooked. That Kellene Bishop lady? that they showcased on ‘Preppers’? is beyond prepared for the Collapse of Society as We Know It. And she’s from Orem, Utah! Which isn’t super close to my city, but still close enough that I could backpack my way to her house and pound on her door to let me in! like a sad sad metaphorical grasshopper.

This woman can outcook you, outgun you, and outpray you. Her website is a wealth of knowledge on doomsday preparedness. I want her to be my friend, just please don’t let her know that I voted for Obama.

So I figure I have everything set here to ‘bug in’ during the End o’ Times. I have my glue gun, my inedible food supply, and my diet coke cache to barter for your very last chicken that you have named The Last Hope of Humanity.

Let my last frail eggs save you, worthless humans.

I feel pretty good. Do you?


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What Am I DOING? Clean Up

Hey, I finished the Frankenstein socks!

And then I started to Frankenstein the next pair:

I’m hyperfocusing on those because I really want to wear more wool socks. So, I haven’t worked on the loom sock since last week because these are a lot closer to being wearable.

Other than that, I’m trying to focus on cleaning up the half-finished crafts that litter my bedroom. Continue reading

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