In Utah county we are honking proud of our families. And we want the world to know it. The best way to showboat your family is to dress them all in matching zipperless trousers and/or calico bonnets and then send them into the wilderness with nothing but a handcart and a granola bar. Why you ask, dear world? To reenact the pioneers trekking to Utah, of course! Children dressed as historically-accurate pioneers = 20,000 bonus points per child! (Heat stroke and subsequent hospitalization, negative 20,000 points.)
But if you are not inclined to drop your kids off in the desert (I prefer making my kids clean up dog poo for fast ‘n’ easy character-building results! (oh and showing them off?)) then perhaps an effigy of your family stuck to the rear window of your car as a set of decal stickers is preferable.
We are a perfect family! Neener neener.
Okay! This is a very cute family! A very nuclear-esque family! Which is great. Pretty much like my own family. I’m even a stay-at-home mofo which is worth ten kajillion bonus points!!! (I promise to stop with the bonus points now.)
These family car decals are everywhere in Utah county. You or someone you know (in Utah county) is carefully applying a height-descending order of stick people on the back of a minivan, right now. Again, totally cool. You like your family? OWN IT.
While pretending that I was all gumshoe and shiz I took this photo for another awesome example of this phenomena:
Go BYU! Go somehow gender-distinguished icons!
There are many variations of this theme. I’ve seen monkeys, zombies, even flip-flops. All excellent at denoting the number, rank, and gender of each family member.
Because I am the Floozy, full of love towards all people (except moviegoers who whisperwhisperwhisper) I think that all families should participate in this trend.
On the super fabulous website familystickers.com you can create your own family according to spec. Go ahead and check it out. I spent a good hour there fooling around, making a few sets of families I deem worthy, because, let’s be honest, even in Utah county we don’t all have sticker-perfect families. And there is nothing wrong with that.
Here are some of the stick figure families I created:
Polygamous Family! (Made only of consenting adults and their properly-nurtured children!)
Crazy Cat Lady Family!
Happy Bachelor Family!
And lastly:
Brokeback Mountain Family!
I would love to see more of these types of families driving down I-15. Here’s your turn. Tell me about your family.
My favorite was a suburban being drove by a man. The back window had the perfect ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ with two children. The ‘mom’ had a big X on her. I guess the divorce was not amicable.
That is hilarious, Suz! And now I’m wondering why he was the one who ended up with the suburban. Maybe he put the sticker on it before the settlement. In that case, good strategy!
There definitely needs to be more diversity in the minivan culture of Utah County. The Happy Bachelor Family made me snort when I laughed! My family would be a combination of that with the crazy cat lady.
Crazy cat lady and Happy bachelor dude find true love, awwww!
I would like to purchase the polygamist family to put on my truck window next to my NRA sticker- but only if you promise to be my sister wife.
It would be an honor to be your sister wife.
HA!!! I love that wife #3 is about 9 months pregnant! (Wait… she is… isn’t she?)
The website described the sticker lady as pregnant, which was confirmed after she yelled and cried at me for ten minutes for asking ‘when the baby [was] due.’
Thought you might appreciate this xkcd comic on the same subject
http://xkcd.com/946/
Awesome! I love XKCD.
true true hilarious true!
A) why is this comment box making me do math?
B) Did you notice you could have your dead ferret join the family?
confession: I failed one of those E-Z maths tests and had to retake to prove I wasn’t a spam bot. Or a dead ferret.
Sorry you find simple math an inconvenient method to prevent spam. I will try to find a better plugin.
For the record, I kind of like the EZ math questions. They made me feel smart.