I like to collect patterns. I own a lot. I probably won’t get around to stitching all of them until the Zombie Apocalypse when there is nothing to do in the downtime (between zombie attacks) except needle-crafting and playing Whist. I especially like Aunt Martha’s Hot Iron Transfers (good for several stampings!). They are great for bastardizing. I embroidered Dame Toadstool this pillow from one of them.
Holly Hobbie and Cthulhu's Secret Love Child -- Ctholly
No, the original pattern did not include tentacle hair. (I don’t think I have ever used the word ‘tentacle’ in a sentence before. It’s usually plural, right? Now I’m all grammarly confused. What’s new.)
A few weeks ago, while perusing the Aunt Martha Hawt Iron Transfers stack, I picked up several of those weekday embroidery samplers. You know, the kind you are supposed to stitch onto your kitchen towels. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday . . . . Changing your kitchen towels regularly is as important as changing your undies, I guess. I bought four of them.
Go ahead and sew these on your knickers!
Let’s take a closer look at these.
This one isn’t too bad. The kittens don’t look very thrilled about their chores. Nothing says ‘Monday Sucks’ like hand washing your laundry in a tub.
Hey stupid kittens, you wouldn't have so many chores if you didn't wear clothes.
This one is just plain boring. Blaaah faceless women.
If you remove their sunbonnets, their heads fall off.
Okay, this next one is a little sketchy. It’s titled ‘Here Come The Indians.’
Wait a sec! Those aren't Native Americans! Those are just a bunch of Boy Scouts playing dress up at a Pow Wow!
Prepare yourselves for this last one.
WTF!
What year is this? Where am I? Why is this available in a craft store in Utah County? Please tell me. I’m so confused.
On Yadnus, we get to eat Racist Turkey!
It’s hard to believe that the ‘Mammy Archetype‘ is still being perpetuated in a little craft store in Provo, USA, yet here she is complete with head kerchief and apron. Sure, we are mostly white here in Utah County and basically oblivious, but still! I find this to be rather outrageous.
I ironed this pattern on fabric only to be 'iron'ic, I swear!
Don’t worry. I’m not going to stitch it. Unless I think of something awesomely artistic and evocative to do with it. Which I probably won’t, because my White Lady Guilt won’t let me.
UPDATE: I gave the infamous pattern a makeover. Check it out over at The Cotton Floozy blog.
You could totally make that into Angelina Jolie if you added a billy bob tattoo or some babies. She’s got the same lips. Maybe a quote from Girl, Interrupted?
Ha! ‘Add some babies!’ And maybe anorexia-ize her?
First, regarding the Ctholly pillow: I LOVE IT. I’m just slow about posting about it myself! She’s on a shelf at a safe distance from my kitties so they don’t think I’m trying to send them a message. Hmmm… maybe they are, though, because that would explain the hairball right in front of my door yesterday.
Second, regarding the embroiderable Mammy archetype: Wow. We need to find someone in Utah County who does not suffer from White Lady Guilt who will do some snarky justice to those patterns. Or, a more responsible and likely scenario: we should alert craft stores in the area to the offensive nature of these designs and explain why they should remove them from their shelves. The sad thing is that they probably have no idea.
Never said “tentacle” before? Am I the only one who talks about tentacle rape around here?
Yes.
Uh… ditto CottonFloozy.
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How about a ‘mammy’s revenge’ series in which she sabotages the tasks – Instead of the days of the week, each chore could include a pithy and inspiring thought like ‘do your own laundry, bitch’…
Love it!
Agreed! Awesome idea. Floozy, get to work!