A Grande Effort
I genuinely cannot fathom the amount of time and creativity and all around #1 team work it took to make this scarecrow. So I made one of my own. I’m thinking of staking it in someone’s lawn tonight.
Grande Fork Scarecrow featuring El Forko
What does this mean?!?!
Is this some sort of political statement? Was the noose too offensive to loop around his neck? I can’t figure out if he is holding the noose or is constrained by it. AND WHY IS DUMBLEDORE WEARING SUNGLASSES?
Smurfette is humiliated in public for being a woman. (For more information see: Hogatha, Poor. Mushroom Pillory Practices of Smurf Culture. 13. 9. Somewhere, France: Azrael Co., 1967. Print.)
And you might think that Vanity Smurf here is bringing flowers to the pilloried Smurfette, but you would be wrong. He has just received these flowers from Grouchy Smurf, even though Grouchy knows darn well about Vanity’s undying love for Papa Smurf. (Daddy Issues.) Why does love have to be so complicated?!
Bizarro Muppets
Frankengonzo, Clown Animal, and Kount Kermit. But who is Miss Piggy the Bride of? You tell me.
I live in the sticks. Up in the mountains. Here is where I live:
I live in a magical place full of wild turkey and deer centaurs.
But when I need to visit civilization I go down the mountain to the city of Spanish Fork.
The city is named after the first Spanish Fork, El Forko, who discovered the natives and called them dinner.
I really like Spanish Fork. It has character. It’s not all perfect schmancy like some other cities in Utah Valley. The women there don’t look like sexbots and the men have actual dirt on their boots.
My favorite thing about Spanish Fork is that every Halloween they decorate Main Street. The local businesses each frankencraft a scarecrow and stake it in the ground in front of their stores.
Here is an example:
Visit our friendly Animal Shelter! Adopt a face-eating dog!
and,
This toothy scare-fairy represents the dentist office behind her, not the voodoo shop around the corner.
Many of the businesses participate in this annual Scarecrow Contest (oh, did I not mention it was a contest yet? my bad.) in hopes of winning the four-foot tall Gold-Encrusted Fork, engraved with the sacred words of El Forko “Se necesita más sal.”
Some of the scarecrows are quite creepy. Like Zion’s Bank here:
Zion's Bank: 'heads above the rest." And no, I did not make that caption up.
This one was also awesome, powered by Substitutiary Locomotion:
Nothing is holding me up except the might of duct tape and Angela Lansbury.
Treguna. Macoides. Trecorum. Satis. Dee.
But lastly, here is my favorite favorite scarecrow entry! It belongs to the local lingerie and adult novelty store (SEX SHOP!) Dirty Jo Punsters.
Even my mom thought this was funny, so you should be safe:
Dirty Jo Punsters "Scaring the pants off you since 1990."
Check out the adorable undies on the ground!
Craftacular! With pom-pom trims and cut-out hearts! A Floozy Find love!
Stay tuned throughout the week! I will be posting one Spanish Fork scarecrow photo with caption per day!
Happy Halloweenie!
