Floozy Finds: Little Lady Lingerie

Floozy Finds - The Cotton Floozy reveals Utah County craft culture

For the special launch of our new site Happy Valley Crafters, I decided not to break a bottle of champagne across the bow of my laptop, but instead schlepped my way to Provo, Utah, capital of Utah County and spawning ground of The Osmonds. I had my camera in hand, natch, and was feeling a little bit Private Eye. (Weird tangent: I want to become a private investigator! Yes, I am serious! I have an ‘in.’ I know a guy who knows a guy!)

Stay with me, people.

So there I was, in Provo, thinking about how I was going to score the best photos for HVC. Something quirky. Something funny. Something that you would only find in Utah County. For awhile I thought about herding a bunch of Utah County Ladies to get a great butt shot of all their blinged-out white-stitched Buckle jean rears, butt that oddly did not seem practical. Also, I did not have free smoothies to bribe them with. Instead I found myself drawn to the Utah crafter mothership: The Quilted Bear.

Now, I have a serious fondness for the Quilted Bear. And I support local artists who make things and sell them for diddly. These people rawk! I am totally going to contact some of them and interview them and spotlight them and not make them at all feel uncomfortable! And now having said that, there is some real crazy shiz at the Quilted Bear.




Okay, I get that some people want to harken back to an innocent time of boudoirs and children in silky sleepwear, but come on!

The entire booth of Little Lady Lingerie

The entire booth of Little Lady Lingerie

I also understand the temptation of naming your store alliteratively. For example: for awhile I was considering calling myself The Cotton Confabulating Consort, but it was too much of a mouthful.

You will note that the right side of the booth has a rack (‘has a rack’ hahaha!) full of lingerie for sizes Luvs Size 4 to Still-Bed-Wetting.

For the little ladiez.

Utah boudoir for the little ladiez.

But if you seductively cast your eyes leftward you will see a rack full of larger (tallish? more mature?) lingerie.

For the larger ladiez.

Utah boudoir for the larger ladiez.

I mean, these are not little! These would fit me! Or a teenage girl! Is that the point?! Creeeepy.

Oh Mister Floozy! Step into my chambers! I have a surprise for you!

Oh Mister Floozy! Step into my chambers! I have a surprise for you!

And you know what makes all of this so perfect? Little Lady Lingerie even has custom doll lingerie. For your doll. For you to dress your doll in to match your own lingerie. That you are wearing. When you climb into bed. At night. In lingerie. With your doll.

Shall I call you, 'Daddy?' or 'Pa?

Shall I call you, 'Daddy?' or 'Pa?

About TheCottonFloozy

The Cotton Floozy finds solace in subversive embroidery, clever crochet, and teaching her kids how to be normal in an abnormal society. She finds horrifically awesome things in Utah Valley and shares them here.
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11 Responses to Floozy Finds: Little Lady Lingerie

  1. Lizzie says:

    I think I just wet myself.

  2. Loaf says:

    Oh MY! Wow, that last little bit was GOOD. Excellent post to the FLOOZ!

  3. Sally Forthright says:

    What would possess someone to market what are clearly nightgowns as lingerie… for fucking toddlers and little girls?! Children have no business even hearing that word. If they do, all they should associate it with is “grown-up stuff” that should make them wrinkle their noses and say “ewwwww!” I mean, I have a dirty mind but that is always in the context of an *adult* conversation. I really despise our society for forcing little girls to grow up in a hyper-sexualized world.

    Sorry, that was a bit of a rant for something just odd and creepy. Seriously, though, they’re just frilly nightgowns. WTF indeed.

    • TheCottonFloozy says:

      Oh yes. Creepy indeed. And especially creepy considering that there are child brides in Utah. Myself having been one. But my ‘special night’ doll didn’t match. Soooooo . . . . yeaaaah.

    • TheCottonFloozy says:

      And I just wanted to add, that I found your outrage refreshing, Sally.

      • Sally Forthright says:

        Thanks. But you weren’t really a child bride… more like an old teenager, right? That’s at least slightly better…

  4. Gloria says:

    Thanks for commenting on my post…back at ya! This is funny! You should write for your vocation or avocation! I suppose all the toddlers with tiaras need these!

  5. Thewayitis says:

    I wouldn’t consider that lingerie. I have always loved nightgowns like that even when I was little, and they made me feel like a princess.

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